Why You Need To Know The Difference Between Bed-Sharing, Co-Sleeping and Room-Sharing

The terms bed-sharing, co-sleeping and room-sharing can be used interchangeably and may sometimes be hard to distinguish. It is important to know the difference between the three so that you can make sure you are setting your baby - and yourself - up for safe sleep. In this blog, I want to explain the difference of these three terms and why it’s essential to know them. They may seem like three words that basically mean the same thing to most people, but to someone who knows better they are actually very different and for a good reason.

What is bed-sharing?

Bed-sharing is the practice of sleeping in the same bed as one’s child. This is exactly as it sounds: you sleep in the same bed with your child and they don’t actually have their own sleep space. This is the most important term to know out of the three of them because it is the most unsafe. There is no judgement here but, as a sleep coach, I am adamant at making sure I follow the guidelines recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) and they do not recommend this type of sleep space. It can be the most unsafe because you could accidentally roll onto your little one, they could slip in between the mattress and the wall or other hard object or they could suffocate from the blankets being pulled over their head by accident. It is much safer for them to have their own sleep space rather than in your bed with you.

Personal note: I want to give full honesty here and say that I bed-shared with all three of my children and I am extremely lucky that nothing happened to them while doing so, but unfortunately that is not the case with all families. The families who have lost their child this way may not have known any better but, had they known, I am almost positive they would have chosen to give their child their own sleep space and would do anything to take back the unfortunate events that occured. The regret and guilt felt by these families is almost too much to bare for everyone involved and my heart goes out to each of them. I highly urge you to make sure you are setting your child up for safe sleep at all times.

What does co-sleeping mean?

Co-sleeping is an umbrella term that references to sharing a bed with your little one or sharing a room with them. It can also reference an open barrier basket that is next to the bed where a child can easily roll onto the bed with their parents by accident. If you hear the term co-sleeping it can be used to talk about bed-sharing or room-sharing.

What does it mean to room-share?

The term room-share means your little one sleeps in their own crib, bassinet or playard. This can mean your little one may still be in your room, but they are in their own sleep space such as in their crib. This term is important to know as well as it is the one that is recommended by the AAP and what I recommend to all the families I work with. The AAP advise that your little one sleeps in their own sleep space, such as their crib or bassinet, in your room for the first year of their life and at least the first 6 months of their life. Once they are that age, you can move them and their crib to their own room to sleep. You may be wondering how on earth you can sleep train a little one if they are in your room and although it is a bit tricky to do - it’s not impossible! We just may need to get a bit creative!

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Thanks for reading and until next time!