Important Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Be The Only One Putting Your Baby To Sleep
I realize it may seem pretty self explanatory that you shouldn’t be the only one putting your baby to sleep but there is actually a lot more to this than it seems. Coming from someone who is still struggling with this (and my son is now 3), I know exactly how it goes and why it can be so hard.
When we are the only one putting our little one to bed it will become something that is expected and what everyone is used to, especially your baby. This can mean that they won’t really allow anyone else to do it and it can make the situation a lot harder than it needs to be. For example, for naps they may not go to sleep or they may cry because they aren’t comfortable with another person putting them down for sleep. It may look similar for bedtime only they will fall asleep eventually, it just may take a lot longer and there may be a lot of tears. This can become overwhelming and exhausting for you, and anyone else attempting to help, which is the last thing you want to happen.
In this blog, I am going to go over why you shouldn’t be the only one putting your little one to sleep, how you can incorporate others in the sleep routine and the benefits of this. So read on!
The Consequences
As I mentioned before, I am still dealing with being the only one putting my son to sleep. This is mostly my own fault because I just would rather do it myself but it doesn’t come without consequences. I am mentally and physically exhausted and drained. I am living on my own right now and am the only one putting my son and his two older sisters to sleep every single night. Mostly I focus on my son first and then I get the older girls to sleep after and they are easy to get to sleep. My son, on the other hand, is the reason I became a certified pediatric sleep consultant and has always struggled with sleep. I have worked really hard to get him sleeping the way he is now and I am desperately afraid to let that slip away. When my fiancé has the chance to put my son to sleep and I am there with him, I usually take that chance from him and claim it for myself. I know, I know.. shame on me. I know I shouldn’t be doing this and I have started letting my fiancé put our son down for naps and bedtime every now and then, but it’s not enough. I do know that I am going to have to start letting him take on that responsibility more - especially because we will be living together soon.
I strongly urge you to do the same. Let other people put your little one to sleep. I know exactly how you feel when you would rather do it yourself, but trust me when I say it will come with consequences. Some of those consequences include:
Becoming burnt out (hello - that’s me!)
Needing a break (also me)
Not being able to accomplish daily tasks because a lot of that time is used getting baby to sleep for naps or bed or back to sleep during the night
Wanting time to yourself or a date night but not being able to
You may not be able to put your older kids to sleep because that time is spent putting the baby to sleep, dad may take on that role instead (which is fine, but good for both parents to switch between the older kids and baby)
Doing too much at one time - especially prevalent for single parents who have to put more than one child to sleep
Do This, Not That
So, what can be done about this? Well, it’s pretty simple… start letting other people put your little one to sleep. I get it! It is not as simple as it was to write that sentence - BUT, you have to start somewhere and you don’t have to jump into it with both feet right off the get go. Ease into things. Gradually start getting other caregivers to do the sleep routine with your little one. Start with the bedtime routine and then gradually move to naps as well.
You can start letting your partner take on the bedtime routine a couple nights a week and gradually have him doing it as many nights as you are or whatever feels best for the both of you. After that you can move onto naps which should come pretty easily once bedtime has been established. Once your little one has gotten used to your partner putting them to sleep, you can gradually move onto another caregiver such as grandma or grandpa putting them to sleep.
Another issue that arises, in particular for breastfeeding mothers, is that they will do the routine because they breastfeed during it and find it easier if they just do it. While it may be easier in the moment, it may not be in the long run when you are completely worn down and burnt out (speaking from experience here once again). It is healthy to have others putting your little one to sleep and that includes giving them a feeding. If you are able to, pump some milk and have a stash waiting in the freezer. You can feed your baby at the beginning of the bedtime routine and then your partner can use some pumped milk to take on the next round. This helps baby to bond with your partner and allows them to give feeds as well.
The Benefits
Without further adieu, here is the best part of the blog: the benefits to others putting your little one to sleep! I have mentioned some ways, but let’s go more in depth here. It is very important for your little one to have others putting them to sleep for their own good and for yours. This will help them to bond with other caregivers and this prevents you from becoming burnt out and exhausted - which is the last thing that needs to happen. You deserve to be well rested and sound minded so that you can be the best version of yourself possible to your loved ones and to yourself.
Allowing others to put your little one to sleep also encourages your little one that no matter who is putting them to sleep - the routine will be the same, no surprises! That means they are much less likely to put up a fuss during bedtime being given by someone else and will more than likely go to sleep much easier. Here are some other benefits to having others put your little one to sleep:
You can get a break, time to yourself, a night out or date night
Baby can get used to others people doing the bedtime routine with them
Date night can start at a decent time (before bedtime)
Baby can bond with other caregivers putting them to bed
Remember that you are just as important as your baby and you need time to yourself so that you don’t get burnt out or exhausted. Allowing your little one to be put to bed by other caregivers can help with that and it can also ensure that girls night out, date night, or vacations without kids is possible! Trust me when I say this is a good thing for everyone involved!
If you found this blog to be beneficial please share it with other parents who may need it. If you want more advice like this, you would love my Facebook group Sleep Little One where I give weekly tips and advice to exhausted parents like yourself who are wanting to improve their little one’s sleep without losing their sanity in the process.
If you’d like a more personalized 1:1 sleep plan then check out my Packages page and contact me to get your free 15-minute discovery call! Let’s get you on the road back to a good nights sleep!
Talk soon and thanks for reading!
